Dealing with grief
My grandma's death has taken such a toll on me that I'm at a point in my life were I'm struggling with the path I'm taking. I always thought I'd get more time with her, at least 10 more years. Though here I am; 2 months ago I lost her. I don't cry every day anymore because I just feel numb. My grandma was more of a parent than both of my parents. She stepped up when nobody else could and I feel so bad for not visiting her. I couldn't emotionally get myself to visit because of her creep of a husband (not my real grandpa). He touched me when I was 16. You'd think at almost 23 I'd let that go but it still haunts me. I'm just happy that fucker will rot at a dementia care somewhere.
With that I'm just incredibly lost. New fragments have formed and sometimes it feels like I'm just larping the whole DID experience even though I am diagnosed with it. UDD in better words.
These fragments makes it incredibly hard to navigate my own grief because they take up portions of my emotions and I can barely see what's mine anymore.
First post I guess